Welcome to Conscious Curiosity, where we break down concepts & insights from experts for normal people, particularly insights into relationships, faith & psychology. Basically cliff notes for grown-ups!
Here's this month's "zoom in" edition:
On what our brains care about most
Conscious Curiosity: Edition No. 7
{psychology}
What do our brains care about more than anything else?
Neuroception, explained.
Our brains essentially have two modes: connection or protection.
It's like a light switch—on or off. And we have a subconscious radar that is constantly scanning the environment to assess cues of safety or threat to determine which mode our brain is in. If it senses threat of any kind, bam—the switch flips on to "protection" mode.
Our brain is continually asking, "Am I safe? Not safe? Safe or not safe?" & leverages that "radar system" to answer that vital question, which determines how our autonomic nervous system instinctively responds, shifting us to either fight, flight or freeze mode or relaxation mode.
That subconscious radar is called neuroception, a term coined by Dr. Stephen Porges, developer of the Polyvagal Theory.
Porges describes neuroception as “a type of intelligence functioning like a constant surveillance system, detecting & evaluating risk in the environment without conscious awareness.”
Research shows that neuroception is constantly occurring from micro moment to micro moment – our brains scan 6x each second. Not every six seconds—6x each second. The brain continually assesses 11 million bits of data to decide if we're safe or not.
If it decides we're safe, we're in connection mode. If it senses a threat, we flip to protection mode.
Neuroception “listens” to cues of safety & danger in three places:
1: within your own body
2: outside in the environment
3: between people
The way we “neuroceive” significantly impacts our nervous systems & how we respond to stress.
Because of past experiences or trauma, our neuroception can become faulty, either hypervigilant (overreactive) or hypovigilant (underreactive), sending signals to our nervous systems of danger or safety when the opposite is actually true.
The way we perceive & react to cues of threat & safety is closely intertwined with our emotional & mental health, revealing if we have a tendency to over- or under-react to what is needed in a given situation.
The applications to this concept are endless, but a key takeaway is that we can tune into our own nervous system, learning to "perceive our neuroception." Deb Dana asserts that really is our responsibility if we want to be beacons of safety & respite for other human beings. We can ask ourselves, "Am I sending cues of safety in this moment or have I moved into the category of threat?"
More to come in future issues on the Polyvagal Theory & what happens inside our bodies as a result of neuroception!
Curious to learn more? Recommended resources below!
***Note from Ansley:***
Learning about *just how much* our bodies & brains care about feeling safe has been so eye-opening to Nate & me, across the board but especially in our parenting. How many times do we convey cues of threat to our kids without meaning to?! All the time. And that is part of being human, but it doesn't mean it isn't hugely helpful to be aware of. Also shout-out to our incredible play therapist Dr. Lee Anne for her wisdom here!
As we’ve tried to find ways to increase our boys’ sense of “felt safety” & relational trust with us, I remembered a parenting tip I read somewhere long ago, which was to have a “code word” that your kids can say if they need to tell you something / ask for help without fear of getting in trouble. So if one of our boys says “popcorn,” that’s a cue for Nate & me to stay calm, focus on connecting with our son, & thank him for being honest with us. Then we focus on solving the problem (if there is one), give big hugs, gently highlight a lesson learned, & reiterate that reminder that he's a good kid who made a mistake.
Passing "popcorn" on to the good people of the internet, because hand to heart, it's been one of the best parenting hacks we've ever employed.
{relationships: fun fact}
Did you know that it takes a full 20 minutes for your body to calm down after stress?
Takeaway: if you're in the middle of a conflict with your spouse (or child...or anyone), research shows taking a break for at least 20 minutes can help reset the tone of the conversation. It takes a full 20 minutes for stress hormones to clear your system, so doing a stress-relieving activity (that does not involve ruminating on the conflict!) greatly improves the likelihood that each party is able to be emotionally grounded & regulated when conversation resumes.
{faith: fun fact}
Staying on the theme of the brain, did you know neuroscience is now revealing what Romans 12:2 has taught us all along?
"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." -Romans 12:2
For centuries, up until the 1940's, scientists thought the brain was fixed. The term "neuroplasticity" wasn't coined until 1948, when we learned that the brain has the ability to rewire itself based on repeated thoughts & experiences. Paul wasn't a neuroscientist, but he understood something powerful—our brains can be renewed by what we focus on. That's why he wrote in Colossians 3:2, "set your minds on things above." Our thoughts create neural pathways, and the more we think something, the more that pathway is reinforced.
Every time we declare the truth of God & His love for us & others, we are renewing & rewiring our minds!
That’s all for this edition of Conscious Curiosity! Thanks for reading.
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Stay tuned for the next edition (zoom out) dropping July 15th! Reminder that the first six editions can be read here anytime.
August | topic preview: {relationships}
What makes a relationship happy & healthy?
Gottmans' Marriage Masters & Disasters, explained.
September | topic preview: {faith}
As a Christian, do you have to pick between believing in Creationism & Evolution?
Evolutionary Creationism, explained.
What to expect from Conscious Curiosity emails:
-
on the 1st of each month: "zoom in" editions with useful tidbits from the experts on relationships, faith & psychology.
- one "deep dive" + two fun facts, rotating spotlight between topics (relationships, faith & psychology)
- sneak peak of next month's content
- on the 15th of each month: "zoom out" editions with quick insights from experts & thought leaders to help us think about how we think.
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